The Raciest Big Brother Ever?

Is this year's Big Brother an adult dating service in disguise?

This year's Big Brother house looks set to be the raciest ever, with sixteen out of the eighteen contestants being saucy singles.  BB's head honchos are clearly out to up the ante on the love and romance stakes, with an insider admitting that 'This year we really want lots of steamy sex...And having people from countries which aren't quite as reserved as Britain might help smooth it along.'

There's normally a 50/50 split between singles and housemates dating someone back home (a someone no-doubt glued to the TV, dreading the moment their other half whips off her bikini top and gets down to a bit of naked lawn-mowing) - and with so many singles under one roof we'll be expecting something truly romptastic.

But there's a twist. After accusations that previous romances on the high-calibre show have been faked for all the lovely media dosh the 'couples' coin in afterwards, this year's singles aren't allowed to get down and dirty until their housemates vote on whether the romance is genuine. Have none of these people heard of online dating?! It's a modicum more discreet, and at least with an adult dating service you can get down to it without your friends putting it to the vote first.

One of BB's top execs said that after a decade on air, the show needed new twists to remain fresh: 'After 10 years we are trying to come up with ways of surprising viewers and housemates.' I can think of a few ideas, mostly involving gags.

Sadly we're less likely than ever to catch the housemates grappling under the duvet in real time. A drop in ratings and some embarrassing controversies over the last few series have led to the 24-hour live feed being cut, with BB being allocated 'only' seven hours of air-time a day. Leaves time for Cash in the Attic I guess.

Maybe the winner can use some of that £100k prize money to sign up for an online dating service and spare the rest of us the tedium of seeing their half-baked BB romance and dating disasters being played out in the nation's quality red-tops.