How Long Should I Wait?

It's that age-old dating question: how long should you wait until sleeping with somebody?

The truth is, of course, that there are no right or wrong answers, and everyone's dating experience is different. After all, if you're in a friends dating situation, and you've known your friend a long time, it might seem ridiculous to use the 'three date' rule. Alternatively, if you've met someone on an online dating site, you might feel that sleeping with that person on the first date just carries too much risk. Ask yourself the following questions before deciding how quickly to get intimate with your new squeeze.

What sort of relationship are you interested in?

If you know that you're only interested in casual dating, then it might be ok to get intimate quickly. If you're keen on something more long-term, then where's the harm in taking it slow?

Am I using sex for the wrong reasons?

Don't sleep with somebody just because you feel that's a short-cut to commitment. Sex should never be used as a bargaining tool.

Do I feel happy talking about it?

If you're keen on sleeping with your dating partner, then you should feel comfortable in communicating that. If there's too much awkwardness or shyness around the issue, then maybe you're just not ready.

Is it what I want?

And the emphasis is on the 'I' here. It doesn't matter whether you've been dating for a few weeks or months, if you're not ready, then don't rush it just because you think your partner is.

What's my gut telling me?

Instincts are powerful things, and shouldn't be ignored. Just as when you meet somebody in real life after connecting on an internet dating site and you get a powerful vibe as to whether they're a contender, so too will your gut let you know whether you're ready to get intimate. Learn to connect with what your body is telling you.

The rule here is that there are no rules. Dating timelines differ for every couple, and what might have been right for your last relationship isn't necessarily right for this one.