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Dating a Public School Boy

Ever tried dating someone who went to a single-sex public school? Nightmare. It seems logical, doesn't it, that if you send a young boy away to an institution where they only come into contact with other young boys, and they're far away from the security of parents and home, that when it comes to dating women in their adult life they find it far from straight-forward?

When you've had such a difficult, emotional separation at such a young age, what normal person isn't going to worry, on a subconscious level at least, that that might happen again? So why would you let your emotions run unchecked if there's a risk that that person might at any minute disappear?

Sharing a dormitory with dozens of people of the same sex is hardly healthy preparation for the world of adult dating, which is all about communicating, long-term, with someone of the opposite sex. Interestingly, if you meet a public school boy on one of the internet dating sites or via a dating service, you're likely to find them charming and easy to talk to. After all, they've spent their formative years having to put a public face on, with never a moment to let that guard slip.

But if you're dating that person over a longer period of time, it's not uncommon to find him too self-sufficient, and too in need of long stretches where he's quite happy not seeing you. It's this very self-sufficiency that parents often want for their children when they send them away to school - but it's also this ability to 'be all right on your own' that can sound the death-knell for relationships.

And how are men supposed to understand women, when that contact as a child had been limited to the odd, giggly 'joint disco' and mums and sisters at home? We learn our dating skills, and how to communicate with the opposite sex, in the playground. Those childish games and early 'relationships' that last a couple of days lay the groundwork for how we approach dating as a grown-up.

So rather than feel jealous of the perceived privilege that public schoolboys enjoy, really we should pity them. Far better to go to the local mixed comp and get a real understanding of how the world of relationships work than be stuck in a single-sex dormitory playing the 'digestive biscuit game' (look it up.) After all, it's relationships that make the world go round.


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